Large Hadron Collider collides first particles

And we’re all still here:

Monday’s collisions were basically a test of the collider systems’ ability to synchronize the beams, in which bunches of protons travel along at nearly the speed of light, and make them collide at the right points. The protons were at their so-called injection energies of 450 billion electron volts, a far cry from the energies the machine will eventually achieve.

Somehow, all this will hopefully give insight to the conditions of the universe in the moments after the Big Bang, which is to say the really tiny moments when time was asserting itself for the first time. (“First” time?) Also, physicists hope to observe a Higgs-boson, a hypothetical particle which is believed to produce mass in matter.

Some more wild speculators attributed technical difficulties with the collider to a boson which teleported backwards in time from the future to try to avert some cataclysm which would occur once the machine was functional. I guess the future will have to try Terminators next time. Not to give anyone any ideas…


One Response

  1. The US Air Force is already way ahead of the LHC when it comes to terminators

    US Air Force orders 2,200 PS3s:

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