A question for Ted Haggard

…who is again loudly and publically asserting he is cured of gayness:

Former New Life Church Pastor Ted Haggard, who lost his Colorado Springs church and leadership status in the evangelical Christian community in 2006 after revelations of a relationship with a male prostitute, told “The Oprah Winfrey Show” on Tuesday that he is rebuilding trust in his marriage by being “super accountable.” Haggard said he regularly checks in with his wife, Gayle, and reveals his whereabouts on Facebook and Twitter. If he’s out of town without her, he said, he stays with a pastor rather than at a hotel. Haggard said he no longer has homosexual compulsions but has “stepped up” to do this so his wife won’t suffer any fear or anxiety about the future.

My question is this: If he’s free of “homosexual compulsions,” why does his wife have to go to such extraordinary measures tracking his movement on an hourly basis? If he were really free of “compulsions,” he wouldn’t just be “accountable.” He would be trustworthy.

 But he’s not. Ted himself recognizes he is still looking for a way out, and probably always will be.

The only way now to salvage the Haggards’ relationship is to end their marriage. No one should ahve to suffer through a marriage with someone in the closet, let alone the embarassments and confusions of a spouse tripping out of the closet, and grim charade of trying to herd someone back into it.

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One Response

  1. Bento, this is a reach. The purpose of the arrangement is to put his wife’s mind at ease, not to prove anything to himself. It is not contradictory for him to have convinced himself while at the same time have to take action to ease his wife’s anxiety.

    Imagine, for example, if a husband had cheated on his wife with a female prostitute and then recommitted to fidelity. His knowledge that he had amended his ways would be independent of his wife’s trust in him.

    Is it reasonable for anyone but the Haggards themselves to decide what best for their marriage?

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