Civics exam!

 Hypothetical: You are running for United States Senate in West Virginia. Your country has over 100,000 servicemembers stationed overseas and is weathering the worst recession in 70 years. How do you complete the following sentence from your stump speech?

“We need                   and we need [it/them] right now.”

a.) “jobs”

b.) “massive overhauls of our crumbling infrastructure”

c.) “a reevaluation of our inhumane and breathtakingly expensive drug enforcement policies and incarceration system”

d.) “1,000 laser systems put in the sky”

If you answered A-C, congratulations, you are a rational, compassionate, sane human being! If you answered D, congratulations, you are the frontrunner in West Virginia’s Senate race!

“If there is a rogue missile aimed at our country, we have 33 minutes to figure out what we’re going to do,” [Republican John] Raese said told the crowd at a recent campaign stop, according to NBC’s Shawna Thomas and Carrie Dann. “We are sitting with the only technology in the world that works and it’s laser technology. We need 1,000 laser systems put in the sky and we need it right now. That is [of] paramount importance.”

The cost of such a program? A cool “$20 billion,” according to Raese.

Raes went on to elaborate on the thought-process which led him to the 1,000-laser figure:

Just 900 lasers is leaving the job undone–and Americans aren’t ones for leaving things undone. 900 would leave inexcusable holes in our national security, holes we know our enemies would exploit. If, hypothetically, Iran or North Korea, some day in the unforeseeable future, develops a missile that can hit the US, God forbid, they’ll know there are lasers up there, lasers with only 899 redundancies. Just 900 lasers will embolden our enemies! They’ll know we could handle 900 missles simultaneously, but 901…?

I hope–no, I know Real Americans are wiser than that; that we don’t have to relearn the lessons of 9/11, about what happens when you have only 900 space lasers. If we leave those holes open, we’ll have to answer to our children for them one day.

But 1,100 lasers, that’s wasteful. I would fight against 1,100 lasers, and all the pork it would bring to the aerospace big-interests in Ohio and Florida. That’s the sort of looseness with our money, the tax-and-spend mindset in Washington I’m running against. I’m running against it because, with this out-of-control growing deficit, we’ll have to answer to our children one day. After we’ve spent ourselves into bankruptcy, they’ll look up at us with teary eyes, and they’ll ask us, “Daddy, why isn’t America great anymore?” And we can just wipe their eyes, point up to the sky, and tell them, “Because we put up exactly 100 lasers too many.”


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